found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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