So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
