DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
