Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
