Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
