Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
