Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
