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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
