it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Randomize
