i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
