you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
