we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Are we still banned from the library?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My vagina is officially offended.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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