Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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