Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Four minutes until I can fart!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
