now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
