and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
