got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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