As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
