theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
