i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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