just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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