i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Randomize
