I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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