5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
