idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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