Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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