My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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