Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize