think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
