one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
