No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize