i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
