So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
that is very illegal...i love you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
