if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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