There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
