Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
