You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
