This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
