Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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