I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
