She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i now understand why vodka
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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