No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
