the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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