is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
there is glitter all over my balls
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
