North Korea, Best Korea!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize