Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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