i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
