then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
