Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
