dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize