when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
