Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
