I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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