oh god the rape fog is back!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
nutella sex= disaster
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm getting married
To pizza
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
