pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
