Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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