yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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