I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize