I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
