got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
