So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
