My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
