Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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