You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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